Life deals us a lot of cards as our lifetimes pass and we notice that most are unfavourable.Its like having the king ,queen ,judge and a 10 in a card game where the highest number loses.Most of these times really suck because they are usually unexpected; its like:-finally! I got the bag I've saved so long for and then I find out there's a new policy that requires a higher fee for a service that is inevitable. I know they say "you can't have it all" but when I am in a tight corner, I ask myself "Can I not have at least an average amount?why so little?"after that, I wonder why out of 100 I can't have 99. I mean, it's not all it's just most; that doesn't defy the law does it?
As we advance in life, our definition of having enough is ever so often changing. As a kid, I wanted the other girl's dress or her shoes,perhaps even her ribbon or toy.Sometimes, I went as far as to want her parents and her hair.As a young teenager, I wanted another secondary school,someone else's intelligence to top my class,the beauty,complexion,skin,composure and figure of another .Growing older,I still wanted some of the things I wanted before but you could add the boyfriend,wealth,wardrobe,cars and freedom of another.
At the onset, it seemed okay and normal for me to always want something different from what I already had;at least to me it did.Growing older I realised that my desires were spiraling out of control.Filled with discontent, I lived each day counting the things I didn't have and damn!did it have an effect on everything around me.I had continuous and constant progressions to higher heights of depression.Every time somebody walked by with something I wanted, I instantly slumped into deep depression counting all the things I didn't have.People in my life noticed my habit of wanting to be anything and everything but myself and usually passed remarks that got me thinking after they reoccurred.Pondering on the matter, I noticed that I had spent more years complaining about who I was,what i had and how i looked than counting my blessings.
1)I don't have an ugly face
2)I have clothes to cover my nakedness
3)I don't suck when it comes to makeup
4)I am surrounded by people who are real and who love me
5)I'm not a dumb skull.
etc
Those are only a few of the blessings I have but never appreciated. I spent time craving a jet-set lifestyle that I didn't appreciate the fun I was having in my life while it passed me by.The smallest things in life matter the most.My discontentment had to halt for me to see the good things I had in my life already the were worth being grateful for. Now,the things I want are not too far fetched as now I can spend my time accepting the things I can't change and working towards the things I can achieve.Envy and depression won't get you that which you are envious for but will only steal the time to get what you desire.
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